Are fig newtons a cookie or a marsupial?

Fig Newtons are neither a cookie nor a marsupial. They represent an unfortunate (not to mention illegal in 36 countries) encounter between an inebriated Australian and a rare species of albino opposum.



The offspring of this union have continued to inbreed to the present day, producing more and more bizarre genetic mutations. Besides the aforementioned Fig Newtons, this includes (but is not limited to) the following:



Kebler elves; several US politicians; the Yugo car; any form of poultry served with raspberry sauce; Michael Jackson; reality TV; and last, but not least, Hilary Duff.



If you ever need any more information, please feel free to contact me. We have lots and lots of time here at the Home for such things.

Are fig newtons a cookie or a marsupial?
Better a cooking IN your pocket than a cookie WITH a pocket
Reply:ROFLOLOL--

I love that!!
Reply:Oh, dear, my alleged mother may have been a marsupial. I hope I'm not a cannibal!



Oh, Cripes, they taste like bloody shite with fava beans and I nearly gagged on the chianti. Must be a cookie.



I have a fig newton of a different colour living next to me. Nice enough chap unless you happen to call him by name when he's cross-dressing, especially when he's on a date with an unawares conservative. That seems to generally spoil the mood for both of them, for some odd reason.



(I just read the other responses after I scribbled mine. I like to do mine first so as to keep a blank mind, like that's any sort of major obstacle for me. I'm rather fond of wolfblayde's answer.)
Reply:hehe a marsupial is... like, a mammal that can carry its newborn in little pockets . like a kangaroo.



hehe. that'd be scary, if your Fig Newton came to life :-D



"The Fig Newton (in Europe, a Fig Roll) is a soft, cake-like pastry filled with fig jam"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_Newton
Reply:Definetly a marsupial, yeah, definitely
Reply:umm...a cookie obviously
Reply:They're both things to be avoided if you've not had your shots.
Reply:Cookie for $1000 Alex
Reply:definitely a cookie
Reply:Looks like crushed ants in a cookie to me
Reply:newtons are cookies, figs are fruits
Reply:You may not be old enough to remember but Fig Newtons are fruit and cake. It was a commercial on the TV.
Reply:Fig newtons? Oh. Those are dinosaurs.. no no wait.. oh those are felines. Wait, fig newtons? Oh yah, no those are dinosaurs.
Reply:Does your crack go from side to side instead of front to back?
Reply:Nasty, either way, nasty
Reply:Let me ask them...wait a minute...they are projectiles, duck!