Thursday, January 12, 2012

If Jesus asked you for a fig, would you give him one?

Also, I just ate a pack of FIg Newtons... does that mean I'm going to Hell?

http://www.godhatesfigs.com/

If Jesus asked you for a fig, would you give him one?
Okay, there are three mediterranean meanings for a fig. Only one is edible, though I suppose if asked, I'd try to oblige.



As for fig newtons, you must share the next package with me.



Buwahahahahaah
Reply:yes, I'd give him one and no, you're not going to hell. he was pissed at the TREE, not the fruit
Reply:Yes, I'm afraid it does mean you're going to Hell. Sorry kid, you knew the rules.



Praise me, amen.
Reply:Yes - if he were Jesus Christ I would give him what he asked for. Fig trees are the only trees that give fruit all year (when in the right climate)... These scriptures (the ones I saw at Godhatesfigs.com) are simply para-dimes for Christians... The Fig is analogous to works that are profitable in God's eyes. (very eatable!) The trees and/or limbs that produce no fruit/grapes etc. are cut off so that the new limbs may produce fruit, i.e (works that are profitable in God's eyes). It's only logical.
Reply:You need to be converted.
Reply:Yes
Reply:That's absurd. God would ask for an acorn. Or a pine nut. Or maybe a few Xanax.
Reply:you rule!
Reply:Sure. I don't really enjoy figs.
Reply:DEEP
Reply:Not for eating the newtons but maybe for blasphemy
Reply:he does;t wish such things,but surely he demands yr worries,evils,unhappiness,miseries.
Reply:If Jesus asked me for my arm, I'd rip it off and give it to him. So, yeah I would give him a fig. Thanks for the points!
Reply:mabe after ive digested it, if hes lucky
Reply:yes and most likely because their not a cookie it's fruit and cake!!!
Reply:No, but I would buy him a cheeseburger and a coke.
Reply:I would give anyone a fig, cuase I don't like them anyway.
Reply:I would give him whatever he wanted, and tell him, "Thanks for taking one for the team." Them me and Jesus would high five, have a beer, and play video games.



I wanna kick it with him before he gets all busy with the rapture, you know.
Reply:Hmmmm, A fig, according to the Partridge Dictionary of the Underworld , is a very inferior sort of counterfeit money. So who ends up with what is going to be on the mooch.
Reply:LOL, great site. News flash, Jesus is dead, so I would not give him a fig since how would He eat it?
Reply:If it were my last and only fig, I would give him it.



Matthew 7:6-12 (ASB) *editing mine,

6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine, lest haply they trample them under their feet, and turn and rend you.



7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 for every one that *[asks receives]; and he that *[seeks finds]; and to him that *[knocks] it shall be opened.



9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone; 10 or if he shall ask for a fish, will give him a serpent?



11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?



12 All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets.



This sums it up I think.
Reply:Sure.. anything he asks I would do... and no, you are not going to hell cause you ate figs lol


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